Crap

I feel like shit, or crap, there the same thing (poop). Why do I feel like shit? Not really some much of a shitty feeling, but an empty feeling really. I feel kinda alone in the world, even though I have great friends and One, but I still feel lonely..... I don't like this feeling, I have this feeling all the time now; it just happened for like a certain period of time that I would feel empty and show it to the world, but now I feel it all the time and I will sometimes show  the feeling physically. I hate this feeling, I want it to go away, but it won't. I wish to feel like this that picture.
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Yes, that picture right there, that is how I wish to feel like right now. I just don't really know how to feel like that. :( 
                  Every time during first period (a.k.a science) my girl-fashion-instincts take over me, and One sits right next to me! I do not like my girl-fashion-instincts, I denied them most of my life and there back for a hostile takeover, and its scary! In class today the things that I said was just about awful shoes and very bad colors and other fashion-y stuff like that. I'm always saying and doing stupid stuff when I'm around the big group of my friends I hang out with. WHY?????!!!!!!! 
                            I do not enjoy whats going on with me, I am very very very very very very very confused and empty, extremely empty.
         
                         :(